************************************************* Adrienne Sioux Koopersmith ******************************************************* THE WEEKLY COMPANION © For: Sunday, October 29, 2000 By: Adrienne Sioux Koopersmith “America’s Premier Eventologist ®” adrienne@21stcentury.net Title: Walk a Mile in these Shoes…Better make that: Bare Feet As of 1:18 PM on Friday,. October 27TH , 2000 according to the Discovery Health WWW Site listed below for your perusal and/or discretion: technically but NOT logically nor correctly, I have walked 75,820 Miles since 08/09/1952 which is the Date of my Birth. Honest to goodness, I am a bonafide Baby-Boomer. I just sound and “read” very young, innocent and delightful in my Writings. “Farther than you imagined?” you may have thought. “How could that Woman write so much as she spends fifteen (15) Hours a Day sitting behind her PC? And she always talks about how she rides her Bike. She never writes about the long Walks she takes along the Beach or out in the Woods or down Michigan Avenue? If this Stat (ie: Statistic is true), that means Adrienne has walked 9.56 times around the entire Planet as Earth is only 7,926 Miles in Diameter. Furthermore, did she biblically “walk on water,” too across the broad and wet oceans that make up so much of our Planet? Now, that’s a heavenly Concept! But due to the fact that Adrienne cannot swim, that doesn’t make much sense either. This does not seem too likely. Indeed: What’s going on here?” I also wondered in a highly skeptical manner. I was honestly puzzled. How was this Calculation arrived upon? At first thought, the entire Number of Days I lived must be multiplied by a certain Quotient. Being 48 Years, 2 Months & 18 Days old, I quickly figured this Figure to be: 17,619 Days including all known Leap Years that I made it through to date. Then I decided to become a Sleuth, a Sherlock Holmes’ Character. I said to myself: IF I were born on August 8TH of 1952 instead what would my Total Walk Count be? I quickly typed in the dates at the above WWW Site and much to my Surprise I found that IF I were born merely one Day before my Real Birthday, I would have walked: 75,825 Miles since 08/08/1952. Therefore, this Delegation of People at the Discovery Health Fitness Club WWW Site assumes the Average American walks 5 Miles a Day whether he/she is a Newborn Infant or a bed-ridden Personality. Then, out of curiosity, I took the 17,619 Days-I’ve-Lived-To-Date Figure & multiplied IT by 5 (the 5 Mile Number) to see what that equaled. That Number was 88,095 and not the 75,825 Miles I had assumed it may be. Close, but “no cigar” as my Boss, Doc Nelson would say. But then, what’s 12,270 Miles amongst “Walkers.” It’s only slightly short of Two (2) Earthly Diameters. IF I take this at face (and not feet) value, Somebody (ie: touted as an Authority) is saying that IF I were born on August 8th instead of August 9th, of 1952, I would have walked 75,825 Miles instead of a mere 75,820 Miles. As a newly-born Infant & BIA: Babe-In-Arms in the arms of my overly possessive & protective Mother at that, this Possibility was highly unlikely. The Odds of this would be utterly impossible. It would be much easier to win the $87 million lottery than for me to “walk” 5 miles on the Day I was born although I was born early in the morning and could have IF I knew where I was going and what I was doing. But we won’t “go there.!” Yes, that definitely would have made the Guinness Book of World Records: Me sprightly walking up and down and back and forth throughout the Corridors of Mendota Community Hospital, away from my Mother…just getting in my 5 Miles of Walk-o-Therapy. “She walked before she crawled” the Headlines would read. I don’t think so. I sat back and thought about this “Hoax.” There was no tally; no way of knowing how they estimated this. They never asked if I was an avid Walker or Runner, that figure just appeared out of the clear after I typed in the Two August Dates. Since I never had a Walk-O-Neter strapped to my Ankle as soon as I was born, I have NO way of computing how far I’ve walked the last 48 Years, 2 Months & 18 Days but knowing me, myself and I, I really do NOT think it’s even half that Number. Lying has never been one of my finer points. I then looked at the rest of the page where this Computation was noted. It read: “Take a few more steps to join the Discovery Health Fitness Club. We show you how to make the transformation from couch potato to an energized healthy lifestyle. Discoveryhealth.com ... keeping you in good health!” The Moral of this Internet Blunder is plain to see. Don’t let the Big Numbers influence you! Yes, I knew all along I was a Gifted Prodigy, but a Fool, I am not! END OF TEXT * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * BIO BRIEF: Contributor, Adrienne Sioux Koopersmith lives in Chicago, Illinois and is heralded as “America’s Premier Eventologist ®” by Washington, DC’s Insight Magazine. Having created over 1,200 HOLIDATES TO CELEBRATE ® since Wednesday, July 25, 1990, ASK believes “Every Day is a HOLIDATE ®” and quite appropriately a Miracle in and of itself. “ASK” may be reached at: adrienne@21stcentury.net if you’d rather write than walk on over to the “Windy City” and share your most memorable PC Encounters. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *